As women, and especially as mothers, we often experience a shift in our identity over time—sometimes without even realizing it. We can become so focused on the demands of life, our families, and others’ expectations that we forget who we are deep down. Losing our identity is not something that happens overnight, but rather a gradual process, often without us even noticing.

This quiet loss of self is incredibly common, especially for moms. We go from being individuals with our own passions, dreams, and desires, to being wrapped up in the needs of others. While it's natural to care for those around us, when we start to ignore our own needs and disconnect from who we truly are, the consequences can be deep and lasting.

The Struggle of Losing Yourself

For many moms, this identity shift is subtle at first. It starts with small things, like spending more time worrying about the household than on our own goals or putting our personal interests aside to care for our children. Over time, these little sacrifices begin to add up, and before we know it, we feel lost and disconnected from the woman we once were.

This shift doesn’t always feel like a catastrophic event. It’s not a single moment where we suddenly “lose ourselves.” Instead, it’s a gradual erosion of the sense of self as we become caught up in the roles we take on. And because there’s no clear “before and after,” it’s easy to dismiss the feeling of being lost. After all, there’s no dramatic event to point to. But it doesn’t change the fact that something essential is missing.

What Happens When You Lose Your Identity?

When we lose touch with who we really are, we begin to feel empty, confused, and disconnected. We might feel like we’re wearing a mask or pretending to be someone we’re not. This leads to feelings of isolation and a lack of fulfillment, even when there’s nothing “wrong” in our life.

The worst part? The longer we ignore the problem, the more difficult it becomes to reclaim our true selves. The sense of being lost becomes more profound, and we can feel like we’re sinking deeper into a role that doesn’t truly fit us anymore.

I had a powerful dream recently that made me reflect on this very struggle. In the dream, I saw a fire trying to start. Each time I put it out, another fire popped up. Eventually, I went to get a fire extinguisher, only to return and find the small fires had morphed into a giant tree, completely engulfed in flames. The fire devastated me, because the tree represented something incredibly important to me.

As I thought about the dream, it became clear that the tree symbolized the false version of myself—the version I had created in response to external pressures. The fires represented the discomfort and frustration I felt as I clung to this image of who I thought I was supposed to be. The devastation I felt in the dream was a reflection of the fear of losing the identity I had built. But then I reframed the dream. The tree was still me, and it was still on fire—but the fire wasn’t damaging the tree. It was like the biblical burning bush—the fire was not consuming me, it was my soul desperately trying to shine.

This dream reminded me that our soul wants to be seen. It wants to shine. And it doesn’t want to be suffocated by the expectations we place on ourselves or the roles we fall into.

Reconnecting with Your True Self

As moms, we often feel like we’ve lost touch with who we really are. But deep inside, there’s a desire to rediscover ourselves, to return to a place where we feel aligned with our true selves and our passions. The good news is that it’s possible to reconnect with that version of you who is vibrant, authentic, and full of life.

Reconnecting with your true self begins with recognizing that the fire of your soul is still there, even if it's been hidden for a while. Every step you take toward living authentically is like adding fuel to that fire, allowing it to burn brighter and brighter. It’s about taking small actions that move you from living in a way that’s driven by external expectations to living in alignment with your true values and desires.

You don’t have to do it alone.

The Role of Support in Your Journey

This is where I come in. As a coach, I help moms like you rediscover who they are beneath the layers of responsibilities, societal expectations, and fear. We work together to uncover the woman you were before motherhood and the woman you are becoming now—stronger, more authentic, and more aligned with your soul’s true calling.

If this resonates with you, and you’re ready to start the journey of rediscovering who you truly are, I’d love to support you. Together, we can explore the layers that have kept you from living authentically, heal the wounds that have been holding you back, and take actionable steps to step into your full potential.

Book an alignment call with me today to begin your journey of self-discovery and reclaim the life and identity that’s truly yours.

With love and support,
Alysia